INFJ Problems – Misunderstood

Hi, I’m an INFJ – don’t worry if you don’t get me, you probably never will.

We are the enigma wrapped up in a conundrum surrounded by a puzzle. We are the least understood of all the types* and half the time, we never even truly know ourselves.


This is our own fault though, so don’t get upset if you don’t know your INFJ well. We make it hard for people to get ‘in’ (we’re experts at deflecting feelings and turning conversations away from ourselves), and we excel at wearing masks. Most people never really know what’s going on inside an INFJ’s head.

The biggest mistake people make about INFJs is that we’re so serious. Sure, sometimes we are, but we’re mostly big goofballs with dirty minds, dark senses of humour and a massive collection of movie quips at our disposal. We just don’t show that side often… not unless you’re someone we really trust.


And now to contradict myself – because I’m an INFJ and that’s kinda what we are – we may be goofballs, but we’re also extremely complex fragile goofballs. That’s due to being far too perceptive and over-sensitive.

Oftentimes we feel like we simply don’t fit in; either too weird for the ‘norms’ or too straight for the ‘weirds’. Trust me, it’s more frustrating for us than for those of you trying to work us out.


In the end, treat us like quicksilver, that strange liquid metal; fascinating, pretty to look at, difficult to understand, toxic to eat… wait, what? And realise that even we don’t know what we really are.

*If you’d like to know more about INFJs or the Myers Briggs Personality Types follow this link

20 thoughts on “INFJ Problems – Misunderstood

  1. We don’t know who we really are! I’m going to have to check out your link too! I’ve seen that test in my PhD program somewhere along the way, but I have forgotten all about it. Thanks for the link.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m often struck by the idea that “knowing” is often the first barrier to learning. I think everything is really just a theory, an educated guess really. So is it really odd that we don’t know ourselves, or is it just odd that we’re the only ones who admit to it?
    Realizing how many INFJs are on WordPress, I wonder if there’s also an affinity for the written word hidden in there. It would certainly make sense. Through the written word we can communicate with others without being confronted with social anxiety. We are safely alone, but not really “alone”.
    I laughed when I read the remark about how “We’re really not that serious.” It’s funny how true that is. For myself, I do find that I’m “very”. The what changes, but the “very” is fairly consistent.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Firstly, hello Adam! Nice to ‘meet’ you! Yes I think there’s something to the whole communicating with like minded people but without having to deal with social anxiety and immediacy of live interaction. We can have our cake and eat it too using something like WP.

      I love your reference to “very”. That resonates with me. I’m either massively, totally into something… or not at all 😊 good to know it’s not just me!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ditto, and I think it also applies to the goofy or serious. I find that I’m often either very serious, very silly, or very quiet. Sometimes I’m in transition, but usually I settle into one of those “verys” before long.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s