I know. I suck.

I don’t even want to think about how long it’s been since I’ve blogged. I could give you all the reasons under the sun for my absence but really it comes down to motivation… and mine wandered off mid last year.

It was a shit of a year. I lost both my dogs and work really took over my life. My WIP almost became a RIP, and any creativity I had in me was squelched by anti-depressants, minutiae and exhaustion.

Thankfully, the end of the year rolled around. I put 2018 in the rear view mirror and took my first (and probably most important) step of 2019. I kicked the anti-depressants. This week, along with shocking withdrawal symptoms, I’m starting to feel the first stirrings of humanity once more; emotions, creativity, libido… all loved ones thought lost for good, and now starting to return.

So… today, for the first time in months, I put metaphorical pen to metaphorical paper and actually wrote a few pages of my WIP. It feels alien and stilted but by gum, I’m doing it again. The only thing now is, I’ve left this thing and come back to it so many times it feels disjointed and, well, I’m not sure if I like it any more!

I was so in love with my WIP when I started it, but now I kind of hate it. Anyone else had that happen to them? Or is it just because I’ve been labouring over this beast for years?

Anyway, my long drawn out point is… I’m attempting to make time for writing and blogging again this year, so if you’re so inclined, watch this space – I’ll try and make it interesting this year!

Oh, and I’ve noticed how much of a mess my blog is at the moment. A refresh will be coming soon.

I have emerged.


*WIP is Guns of Perdition 


18 thoughts on “Emergence

  1. Great to see you back Jess! I know how other things can get in the way. There have been times I considered writing a chore and just couldn’t be bothered. I felt that way about the third novel I’ve been working on so I know how you feel. Anyway, I look forward to what you may have in store for us in 2019.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Welcome back! I have a WIP that I “finished” last year. Then I pulled it out again recently to edit it and did not like it. So now I’ve scraped everything except the concept. I’m re-outlining it in preparation for rewriting the whole darn thing! Best of luck with your WIP!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, that’s dedication to your writing! I hope you feel better about it after the rewrite. I think I’ll just reread mine in entirety first and see if I can find my love for it again 🤗


  3. Welcome back, Jess! It’s great to see you surface. We’re all still here, welcoming you back with open arms 🙂

    As for your WIP, give it time. Maybe read it from the beginning straight through. No editing, just for the fun of reading. I bet if you do that, you’ll fall in love with your characters all over again 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks lovely! I do feel great about returning… and being human again. Man, anti-depressants do a number on you! All my ‘me’ just vanished and I became a shell. But, now I’m back. Good idea about the WIP… pretty much what I’d planned, though I AM going to finish it first 🤪

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great to have you back. Sorry for your bad 2018 – I know how it feels, and it’s good you’ve put it behind you. You know your readers are out here, and we’re ready to cheer you on.
    As for hating your WIP, I guess it can happen.
    Probably what you need is to look at it with fresh eyes. Re-read it and try to imagine a different angle, add a character and mess the original plot up… something like that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks hon! I appreciate the warm words. It’s weird feeling ‘human’ again and actually caring about writing. I suspect I’m just rusty and jaded about my WIP. I’m going to plough through and finish then re-read the whole thing and hope it sparks my interest again 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Jess!! I MISSED you!! It’s so good to see you again! I’m sorry that you’ve been going through a rough patch. You know that the incredible community at WP is here to support you. I look forward to seeing your posts again. Welcome back! Hugs! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi, Jess. So glad to hear from you again! I’m sorry about the problems you faced in 2018. Wishing you a much better 2019.

    No, you don’t suck. And yes, I’ve been in love with a story only to loathe it the longer it took to get to publication. But once it was published, people enjoyed it. So don’t fret! Maybe work on something else for a bit then go back to it with fresh eyes. Or just accept that you lost your zeal for it, read it with a clinical and detached eye, then publish when you’re ready. Either way, you’ll finally get to move on to something new.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Staci! I’m doing exactly that; I’ve started on a short story (poles apart from my WIP) just to have a break and I can already feel myself wanting to get back and finish the WIP… hoping I’ll fall in love again when I get back to it. But, you’re right, maybe readers who haven’t read it 73,000 times like I have 😉 might enjoy it!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Welcome back.
    I’m sorry to hear that things have not been going well, but then again, the fact that you choose to keep at it is certainly something to take pride in. I often feel like the only important choice a writer needs to ever make is whether to keep writing or take a break (with the understanding that there are no wrong answers).

    I have definitely known times where a project has felt like a millstone round my neck. I think it’s inevitable with any project, if it goes for long enough. I remember one author who talked about how he sometimes set aside a specific story for months or years because he needed to.

    I sometimes worry that if I don’t write something from start to finish in short order, I may find myself so changed in the interim that I will need to revise the beginning to match the story I am writing at the end.
    But I also like to think that we are always growing, and thus, even if one does have to go back and make the beginning and shore it up a bit, it’s likely that the story that emerges will be that much stronger than what might have been.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think in my case, it was an enforced break. Meds messed with my creativity and I mentally, and I think even physically, could not write anymore. As soon as they were gone from my system, my creativity came back.

      But yes, then there was (is) the disparity between what I’d written before and how I needed to end the book. Luckily, I was so close to the end, after a minor rewrite, I think I’ve got it sorted now.

      I’m off this weekend with the specific task of editing in mind. Headed to a rural shack for three days with limited technology, and my book and some pens. Hopefully, a good read through will make it all click again 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

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